(The Nevernight Chronicles #1)
Author: Jay Kristoff
Narrated By: Holter Graham
Length: 20 hours, 10 minutes
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Publish Date: August 9, 2016
Violence, Murder, Graphic Sex, Dismemberment,
Swearing, Slavery, Mass Poisoning
Possibly the slaves? I don't know. I'm not clear.
YES I FINALLY READ THIS BOOK OKAY?! I know you guys were waiting for me to read it.
I’ll be honest. This isn’t going to be an eloquent or quote worthy review. It’s really just a brain dump of thoughts disguised to look thoughtful.
Mia Corvere watched her father hang as a traitor when she was a little girl. Her mother told her to never forget, and never show fear. Although I would say that Mr. Kindly is the reason why she’s never afraid. And as Tric has aptly mentioned, she has never learned to deal with her fear. So that’s something. Mia is smart, snarky, sarcastic, and a killer. I kind of dig her. Oh, and I don’t think she really does love anyone except her family, and since they are dead… well then she doesn’t love anyone. She does care about people though, and if you mess with them, you’ll be sorry.
Tric (although Mia wasn’t sure if that’s his real name) seems to care about Mia after they work together to make it to the Church of Our Lady of Blessed Murder. I think there was a line where he realizes that he is falling in love with her. I don’t usually like romance in books all the time, but it feels like a slow burn. I mean, they were “enemies” sort of, and she definitely does not give him any slack in anything they do. She ridicules him so many times, it’s pretty funny. So Tric must really respect her, and I love that.
Mr. Kindly is a not-cat. There’s no other way to explain him. Shout out to Holter Graham for giving Mr. Kindly this intriguing and appealing voice though? He does such a great job at narrating this book that I don’t think I can get over it. Oh, Mr. Kindly is made of shadows and he literally feeds on the fear of people. Mostly Mia, and she hasn’t dealt with her fear since she was maybe 10 years old?
Ash is my favorite acolyte besides Mia and Trick. I mention her because her reaction to Mia getting boobs was freaking priceless. She sounds like me. I like her. I hope her and Mia stay friends or allies or whatever. But of course, I have a feeling that Jay Kristoff would never, ever let that happen. I don’t trust him.
Mia learns to become an Assassin to avenge the execution of her father and the arrest of her mother and brother. The Church of Our Lady of Blessed Murder. It’s a fun time. Lots of blood. Lots of gore. Lots of death.
Sex too. Get it, Mia.
You should just read it. It’s super fun.
Orgasm being referred to as his “little death.”
The snark in literally every single character and the footnotes was amazing. Listening to the audiobook made it easier for the footnotes to be seamless for me. You can kind of tell when it’s a footnote because the narrator will say “gentle friends” when referring to the reader, which was breaking the fourth wall coolness in my opinion. But really, I loved the voice of this book. I just kept cracking up every once in a while in between poisons and death and swearing and boobs.
Literally screw everything about Tric’s origin story because that was so fucked up and now my heart is broken.
Jessamund is a cunt and I hate her. Also, I like how the teachers blame Mia for something she didn’t even do? Like, wow you guys are supposed to be smart and shit but you didn’t even realize that she was being framed? Okay.
I hated that certain people had to die, but of course we can’t always have everyone survive a novel. It wouldn’t be realistic, especially when we are talking about a group of assassins and acolytes having to learn how to kill in various different ways. I would have been surprised if everyone made it out alive in the end.
Whoever was part of the 578 users on Goodreads that tagged this as YA was completely off. I mean, hello? Sex, orgasm and then a murder in one chapter? That’s not YA!
Also screw you Jay Kristoff for getting rid of one of my all time favorite freaking characters!